Why was the hallway connecting Riley and Alden torn down??? How do you get the florescent cheesy goop off your fingers after eating a bag of Cheetos? Why, if the economy is recovering as is reported so often, don't I have a job? Why has the price of a candy bar doubled in the last 15 years? Why are the Soviets trying to demilitarize their economy, arent' they the Bad Guys? If women really like 'nice guys', why aren't I reaping the benefits? Why do we pay farmers to not grow food, even if there are other countries looking to buy? Why do I pay for all these "Be All You Can Be" comercials? (this is a lie, I haven't made enough money to pay income tax yet, but you get the idea.) When you come to Tommy's, is the holiday really forever? Where exactly in your body is your pineal gland? What are we here for anyways? This game of Life didn't come with a box or any of the plastic cars or people or $100,000 bills or a neat spinner wheel. (this is also a lie, I know plenty of plastic people). Why Ask Why when you can get plastered out of your mind instead? Did I really learn everything I need to know in kindergarten? Or did I miss something when I was out with the chicken pox? Why do good people die young? Why does Doug insist on teling the 'Ned and Ed' joke to anyone who'll listen long enough? If Pat Robertson become President, would he remove the amendment about Freedom of Religion? Will there be an Amy Grant/Alien Jorgensen Christmas album? Why are people afraid of computers? Why are computers afraid of people? What is it about 2 AM that twists your brains 45 degrees off of normal? And if reality is already 90 off, what does this mean? Why is Stoh Coffee bad? Why is JoeCoffee oft more evil than Stoh Coffee? Should I stop now?