13391 of wpi.flame:
Path: bigboote.WPI.EDU!garden.WPI.EDU!cpb
From: cpb@garden.WPI.EDU (Christopher P. Bowen)
Newsgroups: wpi.flame
Subject: Re: Goobers with PC Cases
Date: 24 Sep 1996 15:13:49 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Lines: 45
Message-ID: <528trd$93v@bigboote.WPI.EDU>
References:  <527621$fhi@bigboote.WPI.EDU> <5278s4$g92@bigboote.WPI.EDU> 
NNTP-Posting-Host: garden.wpi.edu

Since it seems so redundant for me to add another message to Mr.
Parker explaining what a jerk he is being and how sick his view
of life is, I'm submitting my ideas for the first wpi.flame poster.  
I've got a few items below and they continually develop as I read
more of the pathos that is Mr. Parker's philosophy.  Please feel
free to add/modify. 


All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten from Chris Parker
---------------------------------------------------------------------

1) Bring your own chair on the school bus, since nobody would actually
 be considerate enough to actually leave room for you.
2) If somebody gets to a swing first, remind them that they will die
 someday and that swinging back and forth without really going anywhere
 is merely a metaphor for the futility of their pathetic human existence.
3) With a small capital outlay, corner the market on lunch tickets and
 scalp them to students at a tidy markup.
4) Dodgeball is another metaphor for life.  They're all out to get you.
 Get them first, bribe others to act as your bodyguards, ensuring your
 ultimate victory.  Bring extra balls.
5) Keep ALL crayons and pencils given to you in class, since there was
 no written contract, one can assume they're freebies.
6) Sue the school.  It really doesn't matter why.  Use your "unspoiled 
 innocence" and age-challenged appearance as an advantage in court.  
 Cry often.
7) Drop out of school ASAP and study at home on your own to pass the
 GED.  Why waste time growing up when the goal of school is to "win"
 the diploma, anyway?  Erect temple to Doogie Howser, MD.
8) Halloween:  Visit homes EARLY, since the rest of the country is out
 to take candy from your potential supply.  Make two costumes.  Visit
 each house twice.  Do NOT eat candy, use for controlling others.
9) Self-deprecation should be exercised at all times, thus denying
 others the satisfaction of making you look bad when they put you down.
10) Life is only as good as the last food trade you made in the lunchroom.
 Make it count and get a receipt.  Get refund.  Explain you can't give
 back their stuff since you already traded it to someone else.



-- 
/Christopher P. Bowen ----------------------\
| Software Engineer - IDX Systems Corporation 		              |
| Graduate Computer Science student - Worcester Polytechnic Institute |
\---------< cpb@vtf.idx.com >------------< cpb@wpi.wpi.edu >----------/




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