Crimson's Web lou-WOW!

Lick the carpet, Dust the dog, Mow the windows, Shine the socks

-Tear Garden


Every page on the net is "under construction". These pages are "under mutation"; they change every time they are visited, barring a few nescessary constants. If you're lazy enough to stay here fifteen minutes and your browser supports META tags, we'll reload the page for you.

Service offer: send me unsolicited, "bulk" (commercial or non) email, and I'll proof it for 50 dollars a line! See here for more info on my valuable offer!

If you want to be blackholed at the gweep.net mail server, thou vain dread-bolted death-token, send mail to my old flame-bucket or to an old address. If you don't like something about these pages, or wish to correlate address scraping thou vain pox-marked pumpion, send mail to my current flame-bucket. If you like something about these pages, send mail to web-comment where scraped appears in the mailto link.

Run from oncoming train at a 45-degree angle cutting the perpendicular between the direction it is coming and the direction from which you came.

Little-known Catfish Provo Fact Number 800:
He does any and everything under the auspices of the Church of the SubGenius. Even the stuff the Church tells him not to do.

"Spam is what happens when greed eclipses common sense."
- Joe Provo

Go check out Saki's World!

Want more spew? Have a question? Ask the magic 8-ball!

And as a parting shot, meditate upon this classic Zen koan:

One morning, a novice student saw a sage by a meadow.
The student humbly said,  "What is the nature of insight?"
The master answered: "What is the rain without the stone?"
In that moment, a beatific smile of Satori came across the seeker.

Cheers,
joe