Subject: 
        No donut for Oluwanji


Brothers,
It is a grievous oversight that I have forgotten to mention an
obligation that prevents me from joining you around the ng'tchuko tree
this Thursday-- I must travel south into the forests of my youth to
join in the ritual bonding of my kin to his appointed wife-slave... As
penance for my oversite, I will wip my flesh with reeds and then
languish in the gonaguanae pond until leeches suck the evil spirits
from my blood. Hopefully, this will appease you and the gods.

Please tell Huggy Bear; I do not know how to contact him since the
white man heinously oppressed him...

Apologetically,
Oluwanji Shebelle